Hello 2015!

When I was younger, I had no clue what it would be like to be in my 20s in the mid-2010s. I’d like to report that I never thought life would be so fun.

For me, 2014 was a year of growth. I did some things I’m proud of: supervised a Masters of Engineering thesis, published my first articles outside of my blog (for instance this Wired opinion piece), and started giving public talks about both computer science and technical privilege. I also started journaling again and have a better framework for reflecting on how I feel about my life. Here are some things I’ve been working on in the last year.

• Building my personal community. Surrounding myself with like-minded people interested in similar things is important not only to my happiness, but also my personal growth. In the last couple of years, many of my friends have graduated and moved away. I’ve also moved on from actively contributing to building other communities, for instance Graduate Women at MIT. This has all left a bit of a lonely void, but it’s also given me a chance to think about how I want to focus my time—and social energy. I’ve been thinking about how my interests in computer science and technology fit in with my desire to more directly engage with and contribute to society. To explore this, I’ve been adding more people with writing, journalism, and civic participation interests to my personal community. I’ve also been exploring this through running NeuWrite Boston, a workshop for scientists and science writers. I feel incredibly grateful to learn from and grow with the brilliant fascinating people who are part of my world!
• Taking breaks. After spending years trying to find work/life balance on a daily or weekly level, I’ve realized that I’m better at sprinting and resting than moving along at a consistent pace. (Also, in many cases, work/work balance is good enough for me.) Rather than limiting myself to 8-10 hour workdays I’ve given myself permission to go harder when I’m in the middle of something good. Afterward, rather than just pretending I haven’t overworked, I’ve also been more conscious about giving myself the appropriate amount of time to recover. As part of this, I experimented with taking longer—and different—breaks. I spent more time on beaches this year than I did in previous years. I also traveled for my longest consecutive block of time yet: following a conference in Edinburgh in the beginning of June, I traveled around until a friend’s June 28th wedding in Croatia. (Part of this was work/work balance, with research visits I had arranged.) When I came back I was shocked at how relaxed I felt--and about the new ideas I had formed about my life and work. (Sara Watson also wrote this fun article about what I learned about my Android phone.) Even though I'm taking longer "breaks," it doesn't seem like I've been getting less done--and I've been appreciating how changes of scene and pace has left me feeling more rested.

2015 is supposed to be a year of change: I’ve applied for Assistant Professor positions and I’m supposed to finish my PhD. Depending on how many interviews I get, this spring could get quite busy. By the end of the spring I will have made some decisions that constrain my life’s possibility space for the next few years—but it will still be a large space with many exciting things. I’m a bit nervous because I’ve seen other people I respect and admire struggle with this time in their lives, but I also have some great examples of people who managed to really enjoy their final years. Given all that’s about to happen, here are my resolutions for 2015:

• Know my priorities and keep them in perspective. While it’s important to play the game to be able to keep working on the problems that I find most interesting and challenging, it seems all too easy to get consumed by the game. There are real pressures involved in obtaining and doing the job of an Assistant Professor: you may be familiar with the reported long hours and poor mental health of young academics. It will be important to remember why I want to be in academia in the first place: for the problems, for the people, and for the platform for improving access to computing—not necessarily for the prestige or for things that other people might want. It’s also important to remember what’s important to me about being a human as opposed to a disembodied virtual research-generating entity: my health (physical and mental) and my relationships with other people. Regular reflection is important for keeping all these priorities in perspective. Towards this I would like to meditate and journal at least once a week. Continuing to take the appropriate breaks will also help with this.
• Embrace uncertainty—rather than fearing it. It feels comfortable and it feels safe to know that good things are going to happen. I spend a good amount of time wishing I could know what would happen. (Knowing where I’m going to be geographically is a big one.) On the flip side, it’s incredibly exciting not to know what is going to happen. In addition, I am lucky enough that nothing really bad is going to happen. In the words of my friend Alison, I know I’m going to have “a roof over my head and food to eat.” Even if I don’t end up getting something I want at the time, any outcome will provide opportunities for growth. Whenever I’m thinking about how I wish I knew what was going to happen, I would like to remember how exciting the possibilities are—and how they are all good. Keeping things in perspective will help. :)

Because people are more likely to achieve things if they publicly announce their intentions, I’ll also say some of the things I’d like to work on this next year. After finishing my thesis I’m excited to work on some of my future research ideas. I’d also like to keep reducing the gap between my professional and personal interests. I’d like to keep thinking about how my interest in programming languages can be combined with my interests in civic participation and social justice. (In this theme, Ari Rabkin and I are writing a piece for the first 2015 issue of Model View Culture about how social biases manifest as biases against programming languages.) Part of this involves thinking about how to make computing accessible to more people. I remain deeply interested in thinking about empowering people through the design and dissemination of programming languages as well as through promoting equal opportunity in computing.

Something I didn’t always realize was that rather than becoming your Final Self at some point, you keep growing—and if this is something important to you, you can get exponentially better at it every year. I’m liking my Current Self better and better every year. I can’t wait to see how we grow in 2015!

2014 is the Year of Laughing like Kafka

This year, I'm trying this trend where I have a theme instead of a resolution. And this isn't just because I broke all of my concrete resolutions by April of last year...

For 2014, the theme is to laugh like Kafka. Franz Kafka, who wrote the most dark and wonderful stories, would encourage everyone to laugh at the absurdly dark situations of his protagonists. During readings, apparently he would laugh so jovially and in such contrast with the grim content that people would be confused. Instead of feeling stressed or angry or scared, I want to laugh like Kafka at the absurdity of my own life.

It's been getting harder and harder to not take life too seriously. My mother is always telling me, "Aren't you getting a little old to have blogs where you take pictures of yourself wearing funny glasses?" (See here and here.) Junior Ph.D. students keep saying to me, "Aren't you really old? Why aren't you more serious?" And people are always saying, "You went to Harvard and MIT. Shouldn't you be, like, really serious?" Even though I'm getting really old and I subscribe to The Economist, this does not mean I need to have a permanent scowl.

There are many things to laugh about. How the mental health of Ph.D. students can be measured in terms of the number of days, and sometimes hours, in between existential crises. The fact that there exist contraptions called epilators that have dozens of tiny tweezers for pulling out body hair. That time I spent the most money ever on a tasting menu meal and then spent the next day incapacitated, conducting several important meetings via phone from bed, purging my digestive system in between. Misogynists, racists, xenophobes, and homophobes. Plagues of frogs, locusts, darkness, and death of the firstborn...

Laughing does not mean being disrespectful or apathetic. It simply involves seeing a situation in a way that is less weighty and overwhelming. So whenever I am looking less than happy in 2014, ask whether I should be laughing instead.

Resolutions and Goals for 2013

It has come time for me to publicly announce my goals for 2013 in order to shame myself into following through.

I have the following resolutions.

1. Only acquire things I will use.  Right now my "minimalism" is sustained by high object turnover: I give away things quickly to balance out acquiring them quickly.  To work towards true minimalism I will instate a two-week decision period before acquiring non-essential items.
2. Get rid of things I do not use.  I would like to keep giving away (and occasionally selling) objects that I have not demonstrated need for in the past year.
3. Only take on commitments I want and can handle.  I am happier and more productive when I want to be doing what I am doing and I have time to do a good job.  I will instate a one-day decision period for new commitments.
4. Eat well.  I would like to take more pleasure in the process of eating and focus on quality rather than quantity.  I will make time for eating in my schedule and plan ahead so I can have food that is both good and good for me.
5. Meditate.  In working towards meditating daily, in 2013 I aim to do it at least once a week. 

In 2013 I plan to keep pursuing my two main interests: 1) empowering people to be more productive through their programming tools and 2) empowering women to have the same opportunities as anyone else.

Towards improving programming tools, I have some specific goals regarding Jeeves, the programming language I have been developing for automatically enforcing privacy policies, and demonstrating its feasibility as part of a framework.  I would also like to continue spreading the gospel of statically-typed functional programming languages.  I would like to become more familiar with Scala and continue my Scala evangelism.

Towards empowering women, I am concluding my tenure as an Executive Board member of Graduate Women at MIT and would like to think about what other change I want to see.  I want to reach out to more young girls--I would love to see a framework that allows young girls to be pen pals with young women, their "future selves."  I also want to give people intellectual ammunition to defend their feminist views--for instance, in light of the Delhi gang rape death.  I will think about how this translates into actionable items for me.

Happy New Year, friends.  In the upcoming year, please feel free to discuss these goals with me to make sure I have not forgotten about them!

Yes, I am a Minimalist.

My friends laugh at my “minimalism.” And I do not blame them.

I like things. When I was younger, I aspired to own a Nalgene in every color. I have lost count of how many computers I have. Until recently, teenage girls loved using my bathroom to experiment with all the beauty products. After seeing how much I spent on a pair of (beautiful! white! leather!) gloves, a friend once asked if I was going through some kind of crisis and wanted to talk about it.

Having things has always made me feel safe. You never know when you will run out of shampoo or need to use a second mandolin for julienning a lot of carrots in parallel or get invited to an event where not only do you have to wear a fascinator, but it has to be pink. Better to be ready.

Then three important things happened in 2010. First, substantial amounts of water leaked from our roof through our ceiling over the course of months. Second, I made friends with a minimalist. He lived in Belgium and had only one spoon in his apartment that we all shared to eat speculoos. Third, I moved out of that leaky apartment.

During this year, I learned that not only are many material possessions unnecessary, but they can also be burdensome. And so I developed the goal to actively love and regularly use all of my possessions*. And according to the minimalist blogs, the concept of minimalism has become sufficiently trendy and dilute that this definition is acceptable.

Working towards this goal has involved thinking about how to get more usability out of things. For clothing, for instance, I learned the rule that any new article of clothing should be appropriate for at least three different kinds of occasions. Versatility is the key: a few things can go a long way.

I have also been working on letting go. I acquire many things thinking that I might need them. I have gotten better at giving them away. If I have not used something for a year, I force myself to get rid of it. In the last months, I have gotten rid of multiple travel pillows, a carpeted cat toy, a second sleeping bag, a Zune, bags of clothing, and numerous books.

And, of course, I have been thinking about what is necessary. There are things I want. I want art in my living space. I want self-expression through my clothing and accessories. I want two pillows when I sleep. I want variety to my meals. Perhaps that is all. Perhaps I do not even need these.

I have been making progress. I do not have a TV. I have fewer clothes and books than I used to. I pack for most trips into carry-on luggage. Most of my cooking involves a single knife, pot, and pan.

I would love to one day live in a vast empty apartment with only a few possessions. I may realize that this will not make me happy, but I hope to never again get caught up in the acquisition of more and more things. And this is why I call myself a minimalist.

* I have also been thinking about minimalism with respect to commitments and relationships but I will not include discussion of that in this post.

Resolutions for 2012

In Influence, Robert Cialdini writes that people should exploit their own sense of consistency and publicly announce goals they are trying to achieve. Here are my New Year's resolutions.

1. Be nicer. Making other people happy is not only nice, but it also gets you out of your head and makes you happier. I would like to give more genuine compliments, take more time to listen to people, and take more time to help people. Concrete goal: Do at least one thing for someone else each day.
   
2. Be funnier. I think I am hilarious; the world does not always seem to understand. Everyone would benefit if I improved how I convey my sense of humor. I purchased a Groupon for classes at the Improv Asylum; I also plan to pay more attention to what other people find funny. Concrete goal: Each week, make at least one person I do not know that well laugh.
   
3. Keep my spaces neater. Part of growing up involves having more discipline about how I present myself. Part of this presentation involves my living and work spaces. I have previously been of the view that having a cluttered desk is a sign of productivity, but I hypothesize that having a clear desk will help clear my mind. Concrete goal: Clear the clutter in my office and apartment by Sunday evening each week.
   
4. Get enough sleep. I am a happier, healthier, and more productive (and thus nicer, funnier) person when I have slept sufficiently. Concrete goal: Average 7.5 hours of sleep per night in 2012.
   
5. Keep up better with current events. What counts as "current events" in my life has devolved to what people post in my Facebook feed. I would like to take some time to optimize my process for engaging with relevant news, blogs, friend updates, and Twitter updates. (I recently discovered Google Currents, which I like quite a bit.) Concrete goal: Read one article about an event in the world each day.
   

I welcome you to call me out if you catch me slipping.

2010 New Year's Resolutions

Given that we're over a week into 2010, it's time I committed to some resolutions. In Influence, Cialdini says that the way to do something you want to do is to commit to it publicly, so here goes.

I have the following two resolutions:

1. Change how I interact with technology so that it's enhancing my quality of life rather than distracting me from reality. While the things like my phone and the internet (e-mail, Facebook, and Google Reader) are good for connecting me with people and keeping me up to date on current events, I'd like to figure out how much is too much and get rid of everything superfluous. For instance, while Facebook is great for letting me know what friends I haven't seen since high school are doing, it's bad if I'm spending the afternoon Facebook stalking rather than having face-to-face contact. Also, reading random junk mail about EMS sales is about as unproductive and as unrelaxing as watching TV commercials. My friend Chenxing recommended that I look at zenhabits.net and gave some other suggestions about reducing junk mail, opting out of credit card offers, etc. So far, I've unsubscribed from 20-30 mailing lists and have set up filters on my e-mail inbox so that there are fewer distractions.
2. Change things so that how I spend my time reflects what I value. At this point in my life, 1) what I'm "too busy" for reflects my own lifestyle choices rather than anything that's been imposed on me and 2) I'm not actually "too busy" for a lot of things. I've been learning that my being "too busy" is self-imposed barrier to having more fun that results from guilt about not working as much as I could and from living in a culture where how busy you are reflects how cool you are. In the coming year, I want to be more honest with myself about how I spend my time and how I want to spend my time. I will work on recognizing the that I (usually) have time for 1) seeing friends, 2) doing fun things (such as attending fun talks and taking up rugby), 3) reading blogs and news, 4) sleeping, and 5) doing things for other people.